Grandma's Kitchen

First Lesson: 2 Samuel 18: 5-9, 15, 31-33
Responsive Reading: Psalm 130
Second Lesson: Ephesians 4: 25 - 5:2
Gospel Lesson: John 6: 35, 41-51

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Grace and Peace from Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,
​
I want to begin this morning with the story of a young boy[1].  The young boy is like many a young boy you might know.  When he would play baseball and didn’t like the umpire’s calling of balls and strikes, he would get mad.  When he would argue with his brother and sister, he would get so mad that he would storm out of the house and not come back for hours.  When he got mad at school, his face would turn red; he tended to let words slip that he shouldn’t say, and he would get sent to detention. 

His dad was getting frustrated at all the boy's temper tantrums during the first bit of adversity.  So his dad one day came home and handed his boy a bag of nails.  He then gave the following instruction “Whenever you get mad, I want you to take one of these nails and hammer it into the back of the fence out back.”  This advice didn’t seem to work too well at first.  The boy lost his temper just as much.  Pretty soon, though the boy’s outbursts became rarer and rarer, the boy came to realize that it was easier to either walk away or calmly state his concerns then continually pound nails into the fence.  One day, the boy comes home proudly announcing to his father that he had finally made it through the day without losing his temper. 

Father then gave the following advice. ‘Every day you don’t lose your temper, why don’t you pull a nail out of the fence[2].”

Days go by until finally, the boy had restrained his anger enough to remove every single nail.  The father told the son “he was proud,” but they needed to go look at the fence.  The Dad pointed out all the holes in the fence where nails used to be.” Dad then made the point “It is the same way with anger, every time your anger wounds another, the wound remains long after the outburst[3].” 

Today’s lesson comes to us from Ephesians 4[4].  In our lesson for Today, Paul is seeking to address conflict within the Ephesian church.  What the exact nature of the conflict is the text doesn’t say.  What Paul implies is that the conflict was old, the conflict was long-standing.  There was some long-standing grievance from the past that prevented the Ephesians from moving forward.  The Ephesians probably weren’t that different from us in dealing with conflict.  We sit on opposite sides of the sanctuary.  In bigger churches, people even might dare to attend a different service to avoid certain “Christians[5].” 

When I first started attending Viking games with my dad, I remember sitting across the aisle from a gentleman.  He was a short gentleman with a mustache.  He was mad throughout the Vikings game, even if they managed to win.  His face seemingly got redder and redder with every play.  He looked like a heart attack waiting to happen.  He was mad at the coach!  He was mad at the offensive coordinator!  He was mad at the Quarterback!  He would do the best he could to let these people know how they disappointed him from section 235 in row 19, whether the Vikings could hear him or not didn’t matter!

While the Vikings losing might be a disappointment, it need not be a source of wounds.   

Christians like those in Ephesians, like those in our churches probably struggled with discerning the difference between a disappointment and a wound.  A color you don’t like in the fellowship hall is a disappointment; it is not a wound[6]. 

Even on more critical issues, such as the treatment of a former pastor or a church budget[7], it cannot permanently wound a church’s mission to bring the Gospel to their wider community. 

So Paul gives the Ephesians some advice, “Be Angry, but do not sin[8].”

To consider the following verse, let’s reflect on whether anger is a sin[9].

Paul would say that anger, in fact, does have its place among Christian people. 

When I was growing up, I had a park up the street where kids would frequently congregate.  One day a fight broke out.  It wasn’t much of a fight but rather a beating where a group of junior highers were beating up and begin to bloody another junior higher.  Living right across the street from the park was Mr. Allen.  Mr. Allen was a mountain of a man.  He stood 6’4; he weighed over 300 lbs at the time.  As soon as Mr. Allen saw what was happening, he stormed out of the house.  The kids saw Mr. Allen approaching, raising his voice, they cleared as quickly as they could.  Mr. Allen was a devout believer and was right to get mad.  There were limits to anger’s power.  If Mr. Allen had sought an eye for an eye retaliation against the children, then anger would have been taken too far.  For example, within the Old Testament, it was not uncommon for the prophets to lash out in anger regarding how God’s covenant with the people was being violated[10].  Anger’s limits need to be realized when placed in the hands of flawed and sinful people like ourselves.  We must be cautious of seeking to justify our anger.  We must be even more cautious not to try to stir up anger further.  The Christian calling is not to respond to anger with violence.   The Devil can very easily feed off our anger[11].  The Devil will attempt to destroy the Christian community by making getting even into a higher priority[12]. 

So how does Paul encourage Christians to respond to anger: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry[13], “

When I was in high school, I had a friend named Ben.  Ben was very well-mannered, and I never heard Ben raise his voice.  Ben’s whole family was the same way.  The more time I spent around them, I saw them as good religious people who seemed incapable of anger.  Ben was in for a million dollar education when he decided to go with me to Grandma’s on one summer night.  Grandma, Ben, and I were sitting in the kitchen when my Uncle Gregg comes bursting in the door.  Gregg was mad!  Gregg was mad because Grandma couldn’t be reached earlier in the day! Now a family member was going to show up at Gregg’s house in the middle of the night and wake his young children.  Gregg didn’t begin by exchanging pleasantries.  Gregg merely started raising his voice to let Grandma know everything that was wrong.  Grandma being about seventy-five at the time wasn’t just going to sit there and take this.  She stood up and started yelling at Gregg right back!  Even nearing ninety-five, I know of no one who should think it’s a good idea to start a screaming match with Grandma.  Grandma and Gregg go back and forth for like five-ten minutes.  Ben looks on mortified at what he was witnessing.  Then remarkably, Grandma and Gregg solve their issue.  They exchange a few jokes.  Gregg walks out the door smiling, Grandma resumes business like normal, and their issues were resolved.  The following story is an example of not letting the sun go down on one’s anger.  They believed it was better for the relationship to disagree however uncomfortably and ultimately work their way forward as people.

This is why Paul encourages us Today to : “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you[14].”

Let me give you a painful truth on this day.  We will have unlovable people in our lives[15].  You will have people disappoint you.  You will have people speak wrongly about you.  For what the Gospel does is reveal the exact opposite of anger.  The Gospel reveals love at those very moments when we or those around us seem to be unlovable.  We cannot or will not make ourselves right with God in comparison to other people.  So their needs to be better ways to deal with anger even as difficult as they may be[16].

Let me close this morning with one Final Story, Chet Bitterman was an American missionary and Bible Translator[17].  Bitterman begins his missionary work in Colombia, South America[18].  While in Colombia, Bitterman one morning, terrorists bang on his door demanding to see his supervisor.  When the supervisor is unavailable, Bitterman is kidnapped instead[19].  Bitterman’s wife and children witness this scene.  Bitterman is eventually killed by his captors.  Few people will ever be justified in their anger like Chet Bitterman’s family.  You can understand if the family wanted nothing to do with the people of Colombia ever again.  Bitterman’s family wanted to funnel their anger to more productive means[20].

They decided to enlist the support of friends and neighbors to begin a fundraising campaign for the people of Colombia to buy an ambulance where one was needed.  Chet Bitterman’s parents even traveled to Colombia to present the new ambulance.  During the ceremony, Chet Bitterman’s mom declared “We can do this because God has taken the “anger” hatred from our hearts[21].”

On the cross, God gave hope and life eternal in response to the very people who put him to death.  God gave forgiveness to those who had denied it to others.  God had declared the “unlovable” to now be beloved.  Anger had turned into grace.  The world was now going to forever change because of it.  Paul’s message to the Ephesian church is other people will disappoint us, but we cannot let them wound us.  We will get angry, but this anger isn’t a bad thing if it points us to the day when our Lord shall permanently take all anger and brokenness from not only the Ephesian Church, but our church, and ultimately our world, only to the sunrise again as we witness the power of Resurrection.
 Amen
 
 
 
 


[1] Higgins, Scott. “Nails in the Fence.” Stories for Preaching. Web. July.18.2018.  Taken from Unknown Source. 
[2] Higgins, Scott. “Nails in the Fence.” Stories for Preaching.
[3] Higgins, Scott. “Nails in the Fence.” Stories for Preaching.
[4] Ephesians 4:25-5:2. 
[5] Molin, Steve. “Had Any Good Church Fights Lately?” Sermon Writer. 2006. Web. July.18.2018. 
[6] Molin, Steve. “Had Any Good Church Fights Lately?” Sermon Writer.
[7] Molin, Steve. “Had Any Good Church Fights Lately?” Sermon Writer.
[8] Ephesians 4:26
[9] Tranvik, Mark. “Commentary on Ephesians 4:25-5:2.” Working Preacher. Luther Seminary. 12. Aug.2012. Web. July.18.2012. 
[10] Tranvik, Mark. “Commentary on Ephesians 4:25-5:2.” Working Preacher.
[11] Ephesians 4:27
[12] Tranvik, Mark. “Commentary on Ephesians 4:25-5:2.” Working Preacher.
[13] Ephesians 4:26b. 
[14] Ephesians 4:31-32. 
[15] Tranvik, Mark. “Commentary on Ephesians 4:25-5:2.” Working Preacher.
[16] Tranvik, Mark. “Commentary on Ephesians 4:25-5:2.” Working Preacher.
[17] Fritz, Paul. “Overcoming Anger Toward Belligerent People.” Sermon Central. 18.Oct.2000. Web. July.18.2018. 
[18] “Chet Bitterman.” Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia. Wikimedia Foundation. 14.Jan.2017. Web. July.18.2018. 
[19] Steffen, Bonnie. “Chet Bitterman: Missionaries have never been off-limits for terrorists.” Christianity Today. March/April 2002. Web. July.18.2018. 
[20] Fritz, Paul. “Overcoming Anger Toward Belligerent People.” Sermon Central.
[21] Fritz, Paul. “Overcoming Anger Toward Belligerent People.” Sermon Central.